We just got back from an overnight in Columbus to help Connie and Dwayne move into their new house (yes, dirty pool and all. The previous occupant[s] left alot of stuff “undone” with it). Brandon and RJ are as lively as usual, and Dwayne’s sisters also came to help out.

Before we had went on Friday, Connie had told us by phone about the possibility that she had cervical cancer. She doesn’t know the full details as of yet, so she’s supposed to be going in for surgery this month. However, at age 36, she’s already getting her will and life insurance in order (one of her main stipulations is that, if the unthinkable does happen, only Mom and Dwayne will have any guardianship over the two boys, and her previous two husbands will be barred from contact with them).

So, for good reason, I’m worried, but not really surprised. For as long as I can remember, Connie has always given off the aura of being in a rush, of being worried, of always being frustrated by at least two or more current situations, and never, ever settling down. Divorce, marriage, military, motherhood, sisterhood (Wanda *and* her kids), and now this – for a near decade. She’s been battling all of these elements for all of this time, and for what reason?

Mom knows that I’m not enthusiastic about this marriage to Dwayne (with whom I have no problems), since it seems like divorce (or widowship) is a constant with my family (Mom [1 divorce], Connie [2], and Wanda [3] are all divorcees). God knows, also, that I don’t want Connie to succomb to this bullshit, or to die in relation to it.

She tries to make it for herself, and for her kids. God knows that she does.

But for once, I’d like for her to actually make it at all.