There are two things that Ive learned from experience so far:

Influence comes from the outside, but change comes from the inside. (Learned that from Mr. Lee, the only teacher besides the late Mrs. Patrick with whom I can carry an actually intelligent conversation)

After youve done something that you like so many times, it becomes painfully redundant. (Thats when Id like best to just die.)

Let me focus on the second a bit. I do the same thing everyday, and now it just seems WAY too routine. And when something becomes routine, Id then start to just back away from it. So basically Im just running out of things that I like to do. And plus, such things like going through routines can make a person ill at ease, which is prolly why on Monday at 6 in the evening, I just went off the computer and stayed in bed for 12 hours straight. I have less and less interest in the things I do, even though I still read (in fact, Im picking foreign country books back up after a long hiatus that had been spent on the comp).

Ive backed away almost totally from DA, which doesnt surprise me, as several people I know have done the same for their own reasons.

Whats wrong with me? Whats wrong with the world? I skipped the ENTIRE Olympics for God’s sakes! How can I miss the fucking Olympics?! I would never intentionally miss the Olympics. Ive always wayched as much of the Olympics as possible since the 94 Olympics in Lillehammer. But for some VERY ODD REASON, I just skipped the ENTIRE OLYMPICS. Like, I just didnt have any interest in it at all. Not in the news, not in much of the scandal (all though I did hear much about how the US did poorly in several of the fields that they were supposed to dominate, like MEN’S BASKETBALL), I just didnt pay much attention to it. AT ALL.

Tell me, is it me or is it the world that is getting “blah” and “duh”?

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Arrgh! Wednesday is “Red Shirt Day”, where all the students have to wear red polo shirts. Then Thursday is “White Shirt Day”, where they have to wear white polo shirts AND listen to sermons and “pep” talk by the heads of the school/church, as well as do military drills, as in “ten-hut!”, about-face!”, “present arms!”, “order arms!”, “right-face!”, “left-face!”, etc. (dont forget, the guys who run this school/church are black men AND have served in the military. Bad combo right there.)

DAMMIT I HATE THIS GODDAMNED SCHOOL/CHURCH!!!

cant wait to get out at the end of this semester. Only 4 more months!!! (Im going to keep on saying that until it actually comes, just to keep up hope for myself.)