Well, except for being with Mom and the kids all day, its been a rather good Saturday, compared to most days this time around. Basically, the next-to-perfect kind of day would like this:

Continue reading Heavy rains on Labor day weekend →

I am watching you
Watching the way you watch people do
The things that they do
As you grow older – learning
Child understanding
About the way that a soul on a soul on a soul can be born
Can be beautiful

Ho hey, never stop learning
Ho hey, never stop wandering
Baby’s growing older
Oh my child never stop learning
Now baby, baby, yeah- don’t you ever stop learning
Baby, baby, yeah- don’t you ever stop learning

For Jasmine
Lyrics by Jasmine Rodgers
Music by bôa
Written for Jasmine Henderson

I thought about that song today at school, and suddenly I was enlightened by the lyrics. It felt like an encouragement for me, and I guess that it was meant for me to figure out just how relevant that the lyrics are to my life while Im dealing with my anger, which I realize is directed in all the wrong directions (look at my comments to the two last posts at africandiaspora).

Everythings gone way out of wack. So such lyrics as these are strangely meaningful to me these days. I love Boa’s music anyways. Greatest band that youll ever hear in your lifetime (or any lifetime, in that case), hands down.

There are two things that Ive learned from experience so far:

Influence comes from the outside, but change comes from the inside. (Learned that from Mr. Lee, the only teacher besides the late Mrs. Patrick with whom I can carry an actually intelligent conversation)

After youve done something that you like so many times, it becomes painfully redundant. (Thats when Id like best to just die.)

Let me focus on the second a bit. I do the same thing everyday, and now it just seems WAY too routine. And when something becomes routine, Id then start to just back away from it. So basically Im just running out of things that I like to do. And plus, such things like going through routines can make a person ill at ease, which is prolly why on Monday at 6 in the evening, I just went off the computer and stayed in bed for 12 hours straight. I have less and less interest in the things I do, even though I still read (in fact, Im picking foreign country books back up after a long hiatus that had been spent on the comp).

Ive backed away almost totally from DA, which doesnt surprise me, as several people I know have done the same for their own reasons.

Whats wrong with me? Whats wrong with the world? I skipped the ENTIRE Olympics for God’s sakes! How can I miss the fucking Olympics?! I would never intentionally miss the Olympics. Ive always wayched as much of the Olympics as possible since the 94 Olympics in Lillehammer. But for some VERY ODD REASON, I just skipped the ENTIRE OLYMPICS. Like, I just didnt have any interest in it at all. Not in the news, not in much of the scandal (all though I did hear much about how the US did poorly in several of the fields that they were supposed to dominate, like MEN’S BASKETBALL), I just didnt pay much attention to it. AT ALL.

Tell me, is it me or is it the world that is getting “blah” and “duh”?

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Arrgh! Wednesday is “Red Shirt Day”, where all the students have to wear red polo shirts. Then Thursday is “White Shirt Day”, where they have to wear white polo shirts AND listen to sermons and “pep” talk by the heads of the school/church, as well as do military drills, as in “ten-hut!”, about-face!”, “present arms!”, “order arms!”, “right-face!”, “left-face!”, etc. (dont forget, the guys who run this school/church are black men AND have served in the military. Bad combo right there.)

DAMMIT I HATE THIS GODDAMNED SCHOOL/CHURCH!!!

cant wait to get out at the end of this semester. Only 4 more months!!! (Im going to keep on saying that until it actually comes, just to keep up hope for myself.)

Hello all, right now, Im getting ready for yet another dumbass day at school. Me, typing at 6:30-something in the morning. Now aint that a rarity of sorts?

Well, anyway, I just woke up from 12 straight hours of sleep. Bleh, and I STILL feel tired. I went to bed at around 6 yesterday. Why? I have no idea. I just stopped talking to WolfDak and Beaky on AIM all of a sudden because I just felt worn out. My apologies to both of them, I was just feeling WAY out of it right then. Didnt have anything to eat either, yet I still dont feel that hungry as I should be right now. Strange?

Anyway, Ill prolly post more after school today. Stay tuned.

Oh yeah, JUST 4 MORE MONTHS TILL IM OUT OF F-ING PRIVATE SCHOOL!!! >:-D

You’re a Kid Catboy!!! You’re young, innocent, and
still learning the ways of catboy-dom.

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Yay! I-3P (kitty lick)

I was finally able to push my sis to get an account at LJ. She hasnt put anything up there yet (counting that she’s in Iraq right now), but Im hoping that she eventually will.

conniesa31, “my Connie!” >;-D

Im taking a hiatus from DA, as you guys have noticed. I dont know why, I just dont visit it as much as I used to. Of course Im just as strongly interested in anthro art and transformations, and of course Im still a writer. Its just that I spent too much energy and put too much dedication into writing too fast. So basically Im burnt out in terms of my writing. Hopefully Ill be able to find new ideas for writing essays at DA, and actually have the energy, time, and place to do it.

But for now, Im too busy creating communities and stuff at LJ. Furthermore, Im worrying about school, as my Mom has promised to send me back to public school before the cutoff deadline for transfers comes, so at least there’s some promise of justice in the world. Finally, college; Im gonna be looking for scholarships ALL year, and we’re talking four-year, since two-year college wouldnt do justice for me, at least, in terms of finance and stuff. Im leaning towards three areas:

University of Minnesota, Twin Cities campus
Any university in Ontario
Any public college in California (why bother, they have the worst tax situation in the Union)
New Zealand (LOTR capital of the world; most isolated Western nation in the world; very nice people, i hear and read)
Australia (other than the good standard of living, I dont know why Id bother with one of the most racist nations on earth)

Somebody help me!

These last two weeks of school have been hell for your snowkitty/psychologist/historian/intellectual. Im mad at Mom because before school started, she told me all of these glowing things about the changes made to the private school. However, she failed to find out the REAL details from the school admin, and as a result, Im in this private school for all the wrong reasons (at least thats the way I feel, and have always felt).

Oh, and just to show how irate I am with the school admin, I should show you all a picture of my face right now. The head of the school, who was supposed to be better than the pastor of the church, made me cut off BOTH MY BEARD AND MY MUSTACHE. Seriously.

Im just so fed up with life, period. Hell, I even contemplated suicide this week because I was in tears after an incident that I dont want to tell or explaining right now.

However, Mom finally compromised with me: She would let me go to REAL high school right before the deadline for school transfer, which would probably be by Decmber or January, so right now, at least I can look forward to a few more months of pure agony and anger.

oh yeah, did i forget to say that my sis is back in Iraq. hideous.

*YAWNS* im going to bed to sleep VERY late

An Agony. As Now.

I am inside someone
who hates me. I look
out from his eyes. Smell
what fouled tunes come in
to his breath. Love his
wretched women.

It burns the thing
inside it. And that thing
screams.

Your soul is OPEN-MINDED. Although you do have
strong opinions and make decisions, you never
make them without thinking first of not only
everything that is, but those that may not be
as well. People trust that you’ll willingly
hear them out and understand when they tell you
something, and you are well-liked for it. You
are often the mediator in disputes and your
desire to do what is right overcomes all else.
You are an understanding and admirable soul.

What Is Your Soul’s Trait?
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